I often do tell myself that I am my worst critic, that I am merely being harsh on myself, but I find myself comparing my body to other people’s on a daily basis.
Accepted my body has been a long journey and, although I’ve come a long way, I still have a winding road ahead of me. I recently turned twenty and, as a young woman, I am trying to be a more confident person. For years, I was focused on the way I look facially, trying to love myself and, neglecting to love my body, means I still have a lot of unresolved issues with my image. Now that I am older, I am much more aware of my physical appearance than when I was younger.
I stand at about 5’4 and currently weigh a little over 7 stone, though I’m aiming to gain a stone and a bit. I’m not a twig but I have very long legs which mean they look incredibly slim. This may sound perfect, long and slim legs, but I wish they had a little more shape to them. I am extremely self-conscious of my legs, meaning I wear mostly jeans, only showing my legs if it is very hot out.
Many other girls, including myself, are self-conscious of their butts. We are often looking for the perfect body and subconsciously comparing our own to society’s unreal standards. What you need to remember, is the photos in the magazines and even on Instagram, as mostly photoshopped. Don’t compare yourself to something that isn’t real, don’t compare yourself to someone else because chances are, that person is just as self-conscious as you are. I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that I have a standard butt, I’d like it to be a little more shapely but it’s just something I’ll have to deal with, maybe getting a few more squats in where possible.
I remember how mortifying it was to go and get my first bra. It was teeny tiny as at such a young age I was still pretty flat chested. I judged myself. My boobs now aren’t massive, but I’m comfortable with them. As I’m small in frame, my boobs are perfect for my body. I sit at a D cup which fits well with me.
Overall, my relationship with my body is something I am looking at changing over the next year. Some mornings I wake up feeling good, others I feel awful and don’t want to leave the house. I still have a long way to go in accepting and loving my body, but I’m getting there.