Why I don’t take medication

There has been a lot of mental health talk on this blog and I am sure there is more to come. I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was sixteen. There are good days and bad days. My depression was a lot worse when I was younger and, even at the beginning of this year, it hit an all-time low. My anxiety is a different story as it seems to be there the majority of the time. I’ve overcome a lot of obstacles in relation to my anxiety and self-esteem but I feel as though I still have a long way to go.
Upon being diagnosed with depression, I was prescribed antidepressants. I took these briefly when I was younger but stopped as I felt like I wasn’t informed of the side effects. Although not all antidepressants cause this, I slept a lot. Like, a lot. I ended up coming off them as I found myself falling asleep at school and spending the majority of my time napping rather than studying.
I was advised to take antidepressants a few other times, finally getting them last summer to take over the holidays. These helped me a lot and I found myself becoming happier each day but inside I was still struggling. I didn’t want to be dependant on medication to make me happy. I realised that my happiness wasn’t reality. All my problems and issues were there and, rather than block out the emotions, I took the brave step of coming off antidepressants once and for all to face my demons.
Coming off them was easy as I wasn’t on them for long but my mood definitely deteriorated. Taking the medication caused my anxiety to disappear and, as soon as I re-entered reality, I had a rush of negative emotion. It’s hard to describe but I felt surrounded by bad energy that I couldn’t get rid of. It’s something I’m still working on today but, after discovering Buddhism in March, I practice mindfulness and meditation when I can, finding it to be a powerful tool in my journey to peace.
Although medication is very helpful, it just wasn’t for me. If you are suffering from depression and/or anxiety, I strongly advise you to talk to your doctor as they will be able to give you the information necessary to make that choice. While I found that I was better off without it, it comes with a lot of benefits in healing yourself, although you still need to put a lot of work in yourself.
Chin up and keep smiling.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. 🌹V.O.L says:

    Very brave of you to take the condition into your own hands and want to tackle it face to face. That’s really admirable & I pray you reach that point of contentment and fulfilment because you’re an inspiration❤️ keep going ✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Han says:

      Thank you very much!❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hannah says:

    I’ve been on medication on-and-off for 5 years now and as a result I am terrified to come off my medication because there’s never a right time – there’s always an exam or placement coming up that I cannot afford to sink into a depressive state for. Therefore I think you are incredibly brave for taking the step to come off medication and I wish you every success. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Han says:

      There will never be a right time. Don’t feel like you have to stop, if it helps stick with it! Message me anytime if you need to talk xx

      Liked by 1 person

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